Ciara Halligan
Dovetail
Dip pen and India ink on mixed media vellum paper
Artist Statement
When I was 22, I was coming off one of the hardest times of my life. I'd dealt with long Covid, serious relationship problems, a deteriorating apartment building and I was slogging through a degree I didn't care for. My mother had moved to New York to go back to school and I relied on her heavily during this time. I was constantly crying to her on the phone and showing up at her doorstep so she could reassure me.
Then, of course, my mother's breast cancer returned at a time when she should have been celebrating five years cancer-free. Suddenly, my position in her life went from helpless daughter to primary caregiver. I abruptly had to shoulder the weight of taking care of someone who so recently was responsible for taking care of me.
Every day after class, I would walk to the hospital to take her to chemotherapy and then back to her apartment hours later. Any quiet moment I had, I would cry to myself, but I never let myself cry in front of her. I had to be strong for her so she could recover.
This piece encapsulates my relationship with my mother while she was going through chemotherapy in New York. We were isolated, our whole worlds consumed by her illness. New York is an extremely lonely city in which to be sick. The ghostly girl in the drawing represents my inner feelings. I put up a hard facade in order to get my mother through treatment but when I was alone I crumpled and felt like a child once again. It represents the confusing and difficult place I was in having to be a caretaker at such a vulnerable, immature time in my life.
This piece is called Dovetail for a few reasons. Dovetail is a type of woodworking joinery in which notches are cut out of wood and fit together like hands clasping. The position of my mother and myself in this piece is meant to resemble that sort of interlocking connection. My mother is an architect, as well, and is familiar with such design techniques. Additionally, Dovetail is a nod to the doves we would see out of her back window; doves being a symbol of hope and peace.
My mother's cancer forced me to grow up. I had to leave behind the scared little girl in order for both of us to come out the other side.
After treatment, she moved back home to be with my father. She recovered. She's here now. Sitting across from me at the table. Drawing.
52 Views of Cancer
52 Views of Cancer is a deck of playing cards illustrated by people who know cancer firsthand. Each of the 52 cards carries original artwork by a different cancer patient, survivor, or immediate family member, each with their own view of the disease.
The artwork comes first. We're bringing the deck to major scientific and medical conferences and putting these artists' work directly into the hands of the researchers and clinicians working on the cancers they've faced.
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