Naea Esma

Artist Statement

I created The Chair That Counts to express what I went through during my husband’s cancer treatments. My broader practice is dedicated to navigating vulnerability and the complexities of mental health, turning internal experiences into physical forms. When those treatments became ongoing, writing poetry and building this sculpture became the only ways I could process that specific emotional reality.

Every choice in the sculpture reflects that experience. I built the chair deliberately high and too small to even sit on, symbolizing the constant fear and the feeling of not being grounded. The entire structure is unstable, mirroring the instability of that time. The piece is built as a large-scale bead maze, directly referencing the object I remember using to kill time in doctors' offices as a child. Recontextualized here, it becomes a literal tool for counting the days spent sitting through continuous treatments.

The materials are central to this narrative, relying on the constant tension between the fragility of glass and the weight of metal. I hand-shaped the glass beads using dark, clouded tones because it was a dark time and the situation wasn't clear. The green patina over the bronze rods acts as a physical marker of the time that has passed, showing the physical weathering of ongoing waiting.

While my husband fought through treatments, I was left in that heavy stillness. This sculpture, alongside my accompanying poem, speaks to love in its most powerless form, capturing the quiet decision to remain seated, keep count, and keep hope.

Naea Esma (b. 1990, The Netherlands) Moroccan-Dutch visual artist based in New York City.